Who's Gumbleweed, I hear you ask?

Well, if you were a member of David Winter Cottages Collector's Guild, you would have received a small book entitled "How to Grow an English Garden" in which Filbert Grumbleweed is featured. There is also a rather dashing photo of him dressed in his head gardener's clothes. He peppers the text of the book with pithy and salient observations taken from his immense experience of the herbaceous border and all things horticultural. One can almost smell the hollyhocks and hear the rhytmic beat of the lawn mower.
   The Potting Shed is to Grumbleweed what Ten Downing Street is to our Prime Minister, the epicentre of a great leader's domain from which instructions are issued to underling on matters of great importance such as repelling an invasion of blackspot or an infestation of woolly aphids on the nasturtiums. Apprentice gardeners are summoned to the potting shed and given their terse Orders of the day, after which they scuttle off to implement them.
   You would not say that Grumbleweed was an autocratic tyrant unless you were under oath, in which case you would be bound to admit it. Indeed, he has even been called a slave driver and worse, but never to his lime grey face or within earshot. Hordes of spotty, loathsome youths have become trained by Filbert Grumbleweed and all have become first class gardeners with a profound love of plants and all living things except bugs.
   They learn early on that a flower will only be as healthy as the mother plant from which the seed is taken and the compost it is grown in which must be sterilised, hence the chimney of the potting shed and the cloud of escaping vapour that makes this corner of the garden resemble an industrial scene in the Black Country. The seeds are brought on in the adjoining heated greenhouses which encourages optimum growth. Once the seed has become a sturdy plant, it is transferred to a clay pot and then left to fend for itself in the open or sometimes in a glass protected shelter. The potting compost used is made to Grumbleweed's own formulation and consists of sterilised well-rotted loam, granulated peat, sharp clean sand with ground chalk, lime and a sprinkling of potash. Each element is carefully weighed and the ingredients checked for purity and absence of pests. The terracotta pots come in all sizes; which one is used depends on the height of the plant when it is ready to be planted in the garden.